“What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” Jesus in Matthew 19:6
Marriage. The roots are deep. The covenant is solid. The love is sweet. Life is hard. And God is good.John Piper, from his blog January 4, 2011
What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?Gary Thomas, Sacred Marriage.
The law [from Moses allowing for divorce] was unequally balanced to the disadvantage of women, and Jesus’ ruling with its appeal to the Creator’s intention, had the effect of redressing this unequal balance. It is not surprising that women regularly recognized in Jesus one who was their friend and champion.F.F. Bruce, The Hard Sayings of Jesus
Jesus has left the city of Capernaum on the Sea of Galilee (17:24) and continues south toward Jerusalem (16:21). He has now come into the region east of Judea beyond the Jordan river (v.1) which is ruled by the tetrarch Herod. Herod had John the Baptist beheaded for challenging his marriage to Herodias, who Herod seduced away from his brother Philip (Matthew 14:3-12). The Pharisees are “testing” Jesus (v.3), trying to get Him to publically denounce divorce for any reason, and hoping it would lead to the same fate as John.
Yet before Jesus interacts with the Pharisees, He heals the multitudes that are following Him. Matthew records many such mass healings (4:23, 8:16, 9:35, 12:15, 14:14, 14:36, 15:30, and 21:14). The Pharisees ignore or are oblivious to these healings. For the Pharisees, religion is about power and self-worship; they do not comprehend that they are aligning themselves against God Himself.
The Pharisees roll out the trap: “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?” (v. 3) Jesus responds not with logic or pop psychology but with the authority of God’s Word; Jesus immediately quotes Genesis 2:24: For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. Jesus puts God squarely in the middle of the marriage covenant. Marriage is more than just a social contract between two people; it involves a third Person. Marriage is a God-centered covenant where both people pledge to God to love the other and to be the human face of the divine love God has for their spouse.
The Pharisees counter by quoting from Deuteronomy 24:1-4, “why then did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and send her away?” “Why is divorced even allowed?” the Pharisees are saying. “Because of your hardness of heart,” Jesus says. Divorce is not God’s plan. “I hate divorce,” says the Lord in Malachi 2:16. Divorce is permissible, but not ideal. And Jesus gives immorality as the reason why divorce may be permissible. With this statement Jesus publically denounces Herod’s marriage to Herodias, just as His cousin John did before (Matthew 14:3-4). But Jesus also wonderfully liberates women with that same statement.
In that culture, as is true today in many parts of the world, women were second class citizens void of most legal protections. A man could divorce a woman with about the same effort needed to buy a piece of property. Women were abused and mistreated. But with Jesus’ proclamation of immorality as the only God-ordained reason for divorce, both the status of women and the institution of marriage are now elevated. Women cannot be divorced the same way a man sells livestock. Women are to be loved and valued for a lifetime, to the glory of God. Marriage is not merely a piece of paper but a covenant between two people and the Living God.
The disciples, fully immersed in the culture of their day, respond to Jesus’ teaching, “If this is what marriage is like, then it is better not to marry” (v.10). To this boneheaded comment, Jesus mentions those who make themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of God (v. 12). Is Jesus creating a new physical standard of spirituality? Why do we not have one eyed, one-handed (18:8) eunuchs in our churches today? As He did in 17:20 and 18:8-9, Jesus is speaking here metaphorically. Some people remain celibate so they may more diligently serve God. The Apostle Paul acknowledges that some people are gifted to not marry; therefore they devote more of their resources to direct service of the Lord (1 Corinthians 7:7). Here we see Christ Himself giving value to those who never marry.
No other human being can fully satisfy us; only Christ can satisfy. The purpose of marriage is not to make demands on another but to learn how to love another unlovable human being. This gives us insight as to how Christ has loved us in our sinfulness (Romans 5:8). Marriage also forces us to face our own sinfulness. And we are taught to lay down our lives for our spouses, even as Christ has laid down His life for His bride, the church (Ephesians 5:25). Whether single or married, Christ is to be glorified in our lives above all other pursuits. May He give us each faithful grace to accomplish such a lofty task as we love one another, whether single or married.
I remember reading a Protestant author who stated that the Bible nowhere encourages or praises celibacy (talk about reader bias!) so I was very grateful for your comments!
ReplyDeleteI also like the part of Jesus restoring women’s status. I used to believe the all-too-common argument against the all-male priesthood that Jesus was just bowing to tradition and the social mores of His time when He didn’t call any women to be Apostles. If He’d lived today, He would have called women, so there’s really no reason to limit the priesthood to men. Then I read a counter-argument by Alice Von Hildebrand. She pointed out that believing that Jesus deferred to corrupt human mores is ridiculous. He very deliberately FLAUTED all such human mores, precisely to show us the true value of women, and how they OUGHT to be treated. He openly criticized human mores that were not in line with the truth. So holding that He WANTED to call women but DIDN’T is ridiculous. He had a very good reason for doing what He did, and we should respect the tradition He established, not trample all over it.
One thing I see differently, though, is Jesus’ exception when it comes to divorce. If you look at the TRADITIONAL and HISTORICAL understanding of Jesus’ words, He was NOT allowing an exception in the case of adultery, but acknowledging the reality of unlawful marriages. The Greek word He used is “pornio” –from where we get “pornography.” The only other time it occurs in Scripture is in reference to incest. This word usually gets translated as “immorality” or “unchastity” -- which we TODAY interpret as “adultery” -- but that’s not how Jesus’ words were understood in past generations. The historical understanding of Jesus’ words is that some marriages are “unlawful” –that is, invalid. For example, if –due to bizarre circumstances- you found out your spouse was actually your sister, your marriage would be invalid -null, void. NOT a marriage at all. Basically, what LOOKED like a marriage to the eyes of man was not a marriage at all, in the eyes of God.
There are other circumstances that could render a marriage invalid. A previous marriage, for example. In God’s eyes, a civil divorce doesn’t mean you are free to remarry. Or if one or both parties is unwilling to have children – that makes a marriage invalid. Or coercion – marriage must be entered into freely. If there was coercion, than it’s not a valid marriage.
There are other examples, but this should show you how the Catholic Church understands Jesus’ exception for “pornio.” Basically, there are NO exceptions – marriage is for life. But sometimes what appears to be a marriage is not really a marriage at all, and so the Church declares that apparent marriage null and void. The Church does this because she was given the power to bind and loose by Christ Himself.
This is why the Catholic Church refuses to marry a divorcee. Quite simply, a divorcee is not free to marry, since they are still married to their first spouse. A civil divorce is nothing to God. Note that it isn’t divorce per se that the Catholic Church objects to –sometimes it’s necessary to live apart from one’s spouse (ie, in the case of abuse or abandonment) and sometimes it’s necessary to get a civil divorce, for legal reasons. But getting a divorce does NOT free you up to marry again! THAT’S what the Catholic Church objects to.
Keep in mind that divorce used to be ILLEGAL in most states. That’s because our once overtly Christian nation (PROTESTANT Christian, to be precise) viewed divorce in ALL cases as IMMORAL. (same goes for contraception.) Your view of things is quite modern, quite new – at least with respect to historical Christianity.